ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
40s are totally the cure
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
