You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
