will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
