Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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