so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
