She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
