I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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