nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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