If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
