Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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