ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Drunk is not a location!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
