Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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