suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
