i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
