WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Still dying that you shit outside
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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