He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
