There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i love accidental penises.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
