I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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