I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The uberlube is also flammable
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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