I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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