I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
