At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
