Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
