Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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