Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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