addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
