i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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