oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
