Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
