ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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