I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
