apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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