wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
