Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
