hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I will die if light touches me.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
