If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
