ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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