i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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