You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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