I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Redeem this text for a blowjob
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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