Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
