Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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