8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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