HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
