id be glad to
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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