my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
