I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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