Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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