I CAN MOONWALK!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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