check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
