seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
