i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
