Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
