I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
