I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
