sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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