she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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