What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
