Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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