I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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