My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
