A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
