I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
